Head games

Today I had a bike test.  I failed it miserably.  I own that.  And you know what?  It wasn't even my body that failed me.  I didn't get that far.  My head got in my way before I even finished the test.  Probably before I even started.

I mentioned that I like to read a lot of blogs.  Seems I'm not the only one thinking about the mental aspect of the game.  And while it makes me feel good that I'm not alone in this, I'm the only one that can 'fix' it.  I know that I need to work on my mental game, it's just a matter of getting in there and doing it.  Some days it's not as hard as others.  Today it was very hard.

So now what?  Now I own it.  I look it in the face.  And I put it behind me.  No sense in dwelling on it.  Learn the lesson and move on to what's next.  It didn't kill me, so I can either let it crush my confidence or take it in and let it make me stronger.  I choose stronger.

And to be perfectly honest, after about a half an hour...okay, maybe an hour....of wallowing in my failure, I thought about my friend who is going through chemo for his Lymphoma.  Seriously.  How much would he give to be back on his bike, even having a crappy day on it, rather than where he is?  And so, I got over taking myself quite so seriously.  Yes, I care about the test and doing well and pushing myself.  But is my failure the end of the world?  Not even close.

Another blogger posted a link to this article.  Quite interesting.  Perhaps I need to study with the monks.