Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Expectations

I've been thinking lately about how to manage expectations. This is a difficult thing for me, I'll admit. Oh, I don't mean other people's expectations of me, but my expectations of myself.

I have a *bit* of a competitive streak. And it runs even more deeply when the competition is with myself. Although on one level I know it's just not possible, there's a niggle in my head that every event could be a PR.

So I come down to my last event of the year. *The* IM. Kona. Now I obviously won't be competitive with anyone else there, but the competitive fire with myself has been seriously fueled by my disappointing performance at Vineman. Okay, okay, I *know* it's not really a disappointment. There were folks that didn't finish. That's a disappointment. But still....I guess I only know it on a superficial level. It hasn't sunk down deep just yet.

With that said, I've been contemplating how my day will go at Kona. I've read a lot of race reports, the athlete guide, etc. And I've come to the conclusion that no matter how much I might like to smash my Vineman time to bits....I'm going to have to be satisfied with just enjoying the day. Now don't get me wrong...I'm still planning to do the very best that I can do. I'm not going to just coast through the day! But the conditions....the ocean swells, currents, the heat, the wind, the hills combined with wind.....I just don't know how my body will respond or how truly difficult it will be.

And so I have to get it through my stubborn head, that I'm just so lucky to be there....ENJOY IT. Soak up every minute and store it away. It's not likely that I'll be heading back, so make the most of it. Repeat this 100 x to self. Eventually it *might* sink in.

2 comments:

Phil said...

you're gonna do amazing. If I didn't have to be in Chicago, I would have loved to been at Kona to cheer you on!

Pamela said...

Kris...you are entitled to enjoy the day!!! Look where you were 4 years ago and look at where you are today!!! I could not be more proud of you. Just go into the IM with the idea that "just finishing" and enjoying the events and meeting people is OK. I know you want to do a PB but you are already falling into the boghole...imagining how you will feel in this section or that section of the race. I'm telling you that i know you will do your very best. Just know that we are there to support you and cheer you on. You are our IronWoman!!!
This is kinda rambly tonight. I've been kinda out of it today. Sorry, but I hope I got the idea across. Love Ya