Balance

Balance.  It's something I've been struggling and fighting with myself over lately.

In some respects, I'm very lucky.  I have a job that allows me flexible hours, including working at home two days a week.  I have a hubby who has a variety of interests so that he's not waiting around, nor complaining, while I'm out doing my training.  I don't have kids.  I don't do yard work, and truthfully I'm a bare minimum housework kind of gal.   (I'm working on that one.)

The scales I'm having trouble with lately are more philosophical.  It's an issue of seriousness.  No, I don't mean it's a serious issue.  I mean it's an issue of how serious do I take myself.  Am I not taking myself seriously enough?  Too serious?

I know that my coworkers occasionally (okay....routinely) think that I'm overboard already.  Training 6 days a week?  Sometimes twice a day?  Crazy talk.

I also know that I'm not doing as much as a lot of triathletes out there.  And I'm not talking about professionals.  Recreational triathletes like me.  Workouts, equipment, dietary supplements, dietary restrictions, recovery garments/concoctions.  The options are mind boggling.  And overwhelming.

And I have to admit, often I read or hear something that is written for athletes, and my first thought is..."They're talking to pros, not me.  I'm not an athlete. I'm a SAS programmer."  When I hear athlete, I think professional.   I'd say I'm a weekend warrior, but I'm warrior-ing all week long, so I'm not sure that's appropriate either.

I didn't buy a tri bike for the longest time mostly because I felt like tri bikes were for real athletes.  I didn't want to be riding a tri bike, with aero wheels, and getting passed by everyone on the course.    I'm not competitive enough to ride "that" bike.  And I'm still not.  I finally just decided that it would be a fun toy, and life is too short to put off buying fun toys if you can afford it.  So when I got my bonus this year, I got myself a toy.

But I still struggle with seriousness.  If I turn something down because I have an event the next day, or that weekend,  I wonder if I'm taking myself too seriously.  But then I think that if I'm investing so much of my time, why am I not taking myself more seriously?

I want to lose those last 3-5 pounds that are just clinging to me, but I also want to eat that little piece of chocolate. Or that piece of bacon.  Mmm....bacon.  Balance.

I want to go on vacation without worrying about workouts.  But I want to do well in my events too.  Balance.

I want to workout hard, but don't want to get injured.  I want to get my work projects done, but not be a slave to my job.  I want to......  The list could go on and on, but you get the picture.  It's all about balance.

It's a fine line.  One that I'm still working on walking.