Balance. It's something I've been struggling and fighting with myself over lately.
In some respects, I'm very lucky. I have a job that allows me flexible hours, including working at home two days a week. I have a hubby who has a variety of interests so that he's not waiting around, nor complaining, while I'm out doing my training. I don't have kids. I don't do yard work, and truthfully I'm a bare minimum housework kind of gal. (I'm working on that one.)
The scales I'm having trouble with lately are more philosophical. It's an issue of seriousness. No, I don't mean it's a serious issue. I mean it's an issue of how serious do I take myself. Am I not taking myself seriously enough? Too serious?
I know that my coworkers occasionally (okay....routinely) think that I'm overboard already. Training 6 days a week? Sometimes twice a day? Crazy talk.
I also know that I'm not doing as much as a lot of triathletes out there. And I'm not talking about professionals. Recreational triathletes like me. Workouts, equipment, dietary supplements, dietary restrictions, recovery garments/concoctions. The options are mind boggling. And overwhelming.
And I have to admit, often I read or hear something that is written for athletes, and my first thought is..."They're talking to pros, not me. I'm not an athlete. I'm a SAS programmer." When I hear athlete, I think professional. I'd say I'm a weekend warrior, but I'm warrior-ing all week long, so I'm not sure that's appropriate either.
I didn't buy a tri bike for the longest time mostly because I felt like tri bikes were for real athletes. I didn't want to be riding a tri bike, with aero wheels, and getting passed by everyone on the course. I'm not competitive enough to ride "that" bike. And I'm still not. I finally just decided that it would be a fun toy, and life is too short to put off buying fun toys if you can afford it. So when I got my bonus this year, I got myself a toy.
But I still struggle with seriousness. If I turn something down because I have an event the next day, or that weekend, I wonder if I'm taking myself too seriously. But then I think that if I'm investing so much of my time, why am I not taking myself more seriously?
I want to lose those last 3-5 pounds that are just clinging to me, but I also want to eat that little piece of chocolate. Or that piece of bacon. Mmm....bacon. Balance.
I want to go on vacation without worrying about workouts. But I want to do well in my events too. Balance.
I want to workout hard, but don't want to get injured. I want to get my work projects done, but not be a slave to my job. I want to...... The list could go on and on, but you get the picture. It's all about balance.
It's a fine line. One that I'm still working on walking.
