More pondering going on

Less hours of training time=more time spent thinking about training...seriously?

For the last several weeks, well ever since I got back from Hawaii really, I've been thinking about this whole tri thing. And what I've accomplished. And what I've learned.

I was *not* an active kid. I had (had?!?! ok, ok, have) issues and was, while maybe not 'fat', definitely not average. Let's say I was above average, shall we? In 2005 my uncle was diagnosed with Leukemia and I decided to train for a marathon with Team in Training. I did my first few sprint triathlons in 2007. I did a half iron in 2008 and then this year I went slightly nuts and did a marathon and 2 IMs.

Which leads me to my introspection about this year.

First off...HELLO....I did 2 IM distance races this year. And not just this year, but in a span of just over 2 months. And while neither one of them was the race day I would have liked to have, yeah, it's still pretty freakin' awesome. Couch potato to double IronMan inside 4 years. Seriously, who does that? Me, that's who. Awesome.

Ok, but seriously.....my points of pondering....

I am slow. I am likely not ever going to be fast. But I can be less slow. And I seriously need to be less slow on the bike before I do another IM. Yes, I know, I just said 'before' and not 'if'. I'm about 99% certain it's just a matter of time. I need time to develop my bike skills/technique/speed/nutrition so that my legs aren't fried and I can actually run at least some of the marathon instead of death marching it. But there's something about IM, granted it may be the finish line, that is addicting....and of course there's the thought that "I could do that better....I just need to xxxx/yyyy/zzzz". There is a nagging itch in my head that says the *next* one might just be the one you're waiting for. You know more about your nutrition, more about what to expect, more about IM in general. So far, I've shut that voice right up. But really, it's only a matter of time. Of course the counter argument (all inside my head of course) says something about...maybe IM is just not a distance that's for me. Maybe I just sweat too much or will always have some kind of digestive issues. Hard to say with a sample size of two, don't you think?

I started thinking about how cool it would be to do Kona about the time I did my first sprint tris. And now, I've done it. Not well, but I've finished it. And that's left a kind of hole in my motivation. Seriously, I've already completed the holy grail of iron distance triathlon. I've completed one of my 'bucket list' items. The magnitude of it has me spinning a bit. I certainly never imagined that I'd get in on my first entry into the lottery. Well, ok, I admit, there must have been *some* idea that I'd get in, or why bother entering. There's a part of me tho, that wishes I had waited until I was more prepared. More ready. Stronger. But then another part that says there are no guarantees. It's a little morbid, but really none of us knows how long we'll be around. Why wait for the big ticket items. Go for it and enjoy it! And I feel like I did....as hard as it was....the hardest day of my life....and I still enjoyed it.

Jeff and I went hiking with some friends recently. Just a short, easy hike. Lots of chatting going on. We were talking about my recent accomplishments and what's the next step and Nora asked me, "Do you think you'll ever, I don't know, stop?" An interesting question. Jeff and I have typically latched onto an activity, thrown ourselves body and soul into it, and then....moved on to the next thing. Right now, tri is my 'next' thing. And the thing is....I feel like it's something that could stick for quite a while. Let's face it...I'm not very good at it. It's a challenge. There's so much to learn and do. So much fun to be had.

Speaking of which. This is all supposed to be about fun right? I mean, I don't make my living at triathlon. It's not my job. It's my fun. And I need to find a way to make it fun more of the time. Even though I'm not fast, I tend to be driven by a goal. And if I'm not living up to the goal, the fun goes away. I need to make it fun more of the time. Stop taking myself so seriously. It doesn't mean that I can't be competitive with myself and push myself. But let's have fun! Enjoy the journey and the destination. Be thankful I am out there swimming....biking....running. Don't take it for granted.

Well, enough with my rambling for the day. Happy short work week!